Dad's Wisdom

It's been two and a half weeks since Dad died and though I'm able to be more engaged in my day-to-day activities, I find myself depressed at times.  It makes me more sad than I let on when Macy prays for Grandaddy during our evening prayers.  She also says things like "maybe we'll get another Grandaddy..."  It's innocent, sweet, and sad.

Recently, Ive found myself thinking about calling Dad to bounce issues and questions off of him.  I guess I did that more often than I realized.  When I have these thoughts it only takes a second to remember that he's not around; then I feel like I'm drifting.  When I think about it, since I moved out of Mom and Dad's, I've constantly used Dad as a sounding board.  Not for everything, but definitely for a lot of things.  Recently, I've wanted to ask him about this pain I've been having in my hip while playing raquetball.  He would undoubtably be able to relate and offer some reassurance about it getting better.  I've also wanted to ask him about this house that Angie and I are trying to buy.  I had an asbestos test today and the inspector said he didn't think there were many areas to be concerned about.  I'm sure Dad would also tell me that I shouldn't be concerned.  And that's just it, he almost always said that and I believed him.  However, he was wrong recently and the peace I felt from his constant reassurance has been shattered.  Asbestos is real, cancer is real, and I won't be negligent where my or my family's safety is concerned.  But I miss that peace and the feeling that everything's going to be alright.  Dad was able to make you feel that way.  God, help me to feel that way again.